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Friday, May 27, 2005

Great moments in Muppet history

Our cast of characters: Kermit the Frog (KF) and Fozzie Bear (FB)

KF: Ok time once again for that furry fuzzy funny man, fabulous freewheeling fast and frantic Foz-zie Bearrrr!

[Music swells.]

FB: Hey hey hey hey, wait wait wait wait wait, Froggie, not so fast. Tonight, I am going to use your assistance.

KF: Oh yeah?

FB: Yes sir! You and I are going to tell the world's funniest joke! --

KF: Is that right?

FB: Now this is all spontaneous, unrehearsed, right, Froggie?

KF: It's unrehearsed, yes.


FB: Okay okay. Now [pause], frog of my heart, --

KF: Yes?

FB: -- you will just wait until I say the word "hear." When you hear me say the word "hear" you will rush up to me and say, "Good grief! The comedian's a bear!"

KF: "Good grief, the comedian's a bear!"

FB: Check!

KF: When you say the word "here."

FB: Right.

KF: Gotcha.

FB: Okay. Now then. Hiya hiya hiya! You're a wonderful looking audience. It's a pleasure to be here --

KF: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!

FB: Not yet!

KF: But you just said "here."

FB: That was the wrong "hear!"

KF: Which is the right "here?"

FB: The other "hear!"

KF: Sure.

FB: [Sighs heavily] Go go go!... Hey hey, folks, this is a story you're gonna love to hear!---

KF: Good grief, the comedian's a bear!

FB: WILL YOU STOP THAT?

KF: BUT YOU SAID "HEAR!"

FB: NOT THAT "HEAR!"

KF: WELL WHICH "HEAR?"

FB: ANOTHER "HEAR!"

KF: HOW AM I GONNA KNOW?

FB: YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU HEAR!

KF: Good grief, the comedian's a bear!

FB: NYAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

KF: Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[sound of heavy exasperated breathing]

FB: All right. All right. ---

KF: Yes? What?--

FB: Listen, you will know when I.... point to you.

KF: [heavy sigh. stage whisper.] (I'm not gonna work with another bear........)

FB: All right! Don't grumble!

KF: (incomprehensible grumbling)

FB: Say, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre. At the stage door, I passed a bunch of Muppet fans, and suddenly I hear:

[long pause]

KF: [woodenly, with exasperation] Good grief, the comedian's a bear.

FB: No he's a-not! He's a-wearin' a neck-a-tie!

FB: [As music swells] Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh, that's so funny!




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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful!

That single line is my cellphone ring!

My wife & I just performed it as FB and KF!

5:50 PM, August 02, 2010  

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