Great moments in parenting
So for the past month or two, Baby Blue has become utterly obsessed with what was formerly the claimed territory of her older brother, by which of course I mean only one thing: Dragon Tales.* She has two favorite episodes, which she requests by name. One involves Our Dragony Gang getting trapped in a place called "Kingdom Come" when Ord, the big goofy blue dragon, refuses to share something with his friends.
Besides the icky semantics that suggest that kids who don't share will be killed for their selfishness (which, I trust, goes way over the head of both of my children -- their lack of a religious education pays dividends sometimes!), what I really hate about this particular episode is the little song. Kingdom Come is owned by an annoying little being with an exaggerated faux-French accent. He sings while cooking dinner, and Baby Blue loves his song like no other. It has even replaced Alanis Morissette in her heart, such that we spent a significant proportion of yesterday's ride home from the Super Bowl party singing it to calm her when she cried. It is sung to the tune of "Are You Sleeping, Brother John?":
Leetle broccoli, leetle broccoli
Almost done!
Almost done!
Then it's time for dinner!
Then it's time for dinner!
Yum yum yum!
Yum yum yum!
Only these words will do for Baby Blue, and no others.
Back in the days when I had only one child, and a lot fewer DVDs of a certain children's television series, I used to sing the same melody to LG. With these words:
Mama loves you, Mama loves you
Yes I do! Yes I do!
You are such a sweet boy!
You make me so happy!
I love you! I love you!
(I will pause here, to allow you all to receive a shot of insulin after that. You know, I used to be all edgy and cool before I became a parent. Anyway.)
Singing that song to my son was one of the most heartwarming moments of my parenting experience thus far. I was never so proud as the day we sang "Are You Sleeping" in his Enriching Activity music class, and he turned to me with his face sparkling: "Mama! That's the mama loves you song!"
I looked forward to singing the same song (with the obvious change) to my daughter, too. But in this I have been usurped by Dragon Tales. It will never be the "mama loves you" song to Baby Blue; it will always be the "leetle broccoli" song. I would be willing to live with that if it meant that she would actually, you know, eat broccoli (since, as far as I can tell, persuading one's kids to eat broccoli is considered a parenting success greater than assuring them of the everlasting presence of your parental love). But no. She will not even eat the leetle broccoli. The song does nothing but remind me of the extent to which I have utterly surrendered my parenting goals, not to mention my good taste, to the great god of TV, and the blessed moments of peace that it buys for me.
But there's more: her other favorite episode. Our Dragony Gang has built an obstacle course. Each member of the gang wants to be the first to play on it. They race each other to the course, each one yelling "Me first! Me first!" This display of selfishness conjures up from a neighboring pond a two-headed wizard, who spends most of the rest of the episode monopolizing the play equipment and yelling "Me first! Me first!" until the gang learns to take turns and the wizard is vanquished.
Baby Blue thinks that two-headed wizard who runs around yelling "Me first!" is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Every night she asks to watch this episode before bedtime, referring to it as "Me ha! Me ha!" ("ha" of course being her all-purpose syllable meaning "I can't yet pronounce that sound, but you know what I mean anyway").
Today we were the first people to arrive at our community playgroup. "OK, kids," I said to LG and Baby Blue. "Who wants to help me bring the toys out?"
"Toy aht! Toy aht!" yelled Baby Blue, running for the closet.
I dragged out a small plastic playstructure with an attached slide. Baby Blue made for it at full speed yelling "Me ha! Me ha! Me ha! Me ha!"
Yes, friends, I was proud. Here is my baby girl, applying what she has learned to its appropriate context. Yes, from Dragon Tales, Baby Blue has learned how to demand to be first on the play equipment.** Educational television at its finest, no? And one of my, ahem, proudest parenting moments.
Thank you, PBS Kids!
-------
* Now that Baby Blue adores Dragon Tales so, LG finds that it's starting to lose its luster. He is beginning to suspect that it is a show for babies, and has even tried out sentences like, "Mama, I don't like Dragon Tales so much anymore."
** Mr. Blue, who is unusual among the circle of my acquaintances in that he feels no guilt whatsoever about letting the children watch TV until their eyes bleed, heard this story and said, "Well, when she's older she'll understand that 'Me first' is what you're not supposed to say." Yeah. Right. Sure. And she'll eat the leetle broccoli, too.
Special note to Sarah, who has a burning Dragon Tales question:
As far as I can tell, PBS mitigates the high cost of its children's programming by playing old episodes over and over and over again. I think what's going on is that most of what is currently running are the old, pre-Enrique episodes. But the new season starts on President's Day; we'll see if Enrique has made the cut for 2006 then. For your daughter's sake, I hope he does. But you already know my opinion of him.
Besides the icky semantics that suggest that kids who don't share will be killed for their selfishness (which, I trust, goes way over the head of both of my children -- their lack of a religious education pays dividends sometimes!), what I really hate about this particular episode is the little song. Kingdom Come is owned by an annoying little being with an exaggerated faux-French accent. He sings while cooking dinner, and Baby Blue loves his song like no other. It has even replaced Alanis Morissette in her heart, such that we spent a significant proportion of yesterday's ride home from the Super Bowl party singing it to calm her when she cried. It is sung to the tune of "Are You Sleeping, Brother John?":
Leetle broccoli, leetle broccoli
Almost done!
Almost done!
Then it's time for dinner!
Then it's time for dinner!
Yum yum yum!
Yum yum yum!
Only these words will do for Baby Blue, and no others.
Back in the days when I had only one child, and a lot fewer DVDs of a certain children's television series, I used to sing the same melody to LG. With these words:
Mama loves you, Mama loves you
Yes I do! Yes I do!
You are such a sweet boy!
You make me so happy!
I love you! I love you!
(I will pause here, to allow you all to receive a shot of insulin after that. You know, I used to be all edgy and cool before I became a parent. Anyway.)
Singing that song to my son was one of the most heartwarming moments of my parenting experience thus far. I was never so proud as the day we sang "Are You Sleeping" in his Enriching Activity music class, and he turned to me with his face sparkling: "Mama! That's the mama loves you song!"
I looked forward to singing the same song (with the obvious change) to my daughter, too. But in this I have been usurped by Dragon Tales. It will never be the "mama loves you" song to Baby Blue; it will always be the "leetle broccoli" song. I would be willing to live with that if it meant that she would actually, you know, eat broccoli (since, as far as I can tell, persuading one's kids to eat broccoli is considered a parenting success greater than assuring them of the everlasting presence of your parental love). But no. She will not even eat the leetle broccoli. The song does nothing but remind me of the extent to which I have utterly surrendered my parenting goals, not to mention my good taste, to the great god of TV, and the blessed moments of peace that it buys for me.
But there's more: her other favorite episode. Our Dragony Gang has built an obstacle course. Each member of the gang wants to be the first to play on it. They race each other to the course, each one yelling "Me first! Me first!" This display of selfishness conjures up from a neighboring pond a two-headed wizard, who spends most of the rest of the episode monopolizing the play equipment and yelling "Me first! Me first!" until the gang learns to take turns and the wizard is vanquished.
Baby Blue thinks that two-headed wizard who runs around yelling "Me first!" is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Every night she asks to watch this episode before bedtime, referring to it as "Me ha! Me ha!" ("ha" of course being her all-purpose syllable meaning "I can't yet pronounce that sound, but you know what I mean anyway").
Today we were the first people to arrive at our community playgroup. "OK, kids," I said to LG and Baby Blue. "Who wants to help me bring the toys out?"
"Toy aht! Toy aht!" yelled Baby Blue, running for the closet.
I dragged out a small plastic playstructure with an attached slide. Baby Blue made for it at full speed yelling "Me ha! Me ha! Me ha! Me ha!"
Yes, friends, I was proud. Here is my baby girl, applying what she has learned to its appropriate context. Yes, from Dragon Tales, Baby Blue has learned how to demand to be first on the play equipment.** Educational television at its finest, no? And one of my, ahem, proudest parenting moments.
Thank you, PBS Kids!
-------
* Now that Baby Blue adores Dragon Tales so, LG finds that it's starting to lose its luster. He is beginning to suspect that it is a show for babies, and has even tried out sentences like, "Mama, I don't like Dragon Tales so much anymore."
** Mr. Blue, who is unusual among the circle of my acquaintances in that he feels no guilt whatsoever about letting the children watch TV until their eyes bleed, heard this story and said, "Well, when she's older she'll understand that 'Me first' is what you're not supposed to say." Yeah. Right. Sure. And she'll eat the leetle broccoli, too.
Special note to Sarah, who has a burning Dragon Tales question:
As far as I can tell, PBS mitigates the high cost of its children's programming by playing old episodes over and over and over again. I think what's going on is that most of what is currently running are the old, pre-Enrique episodes. But the new season starts on President's Day; we'll see if Enrique has made the cut for 2006 then. For your daughter's sake, I hope he does. But you already know my opinion of him.
posted by Phantom Scribbler at 9:46 PM 
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