Prizes!

Welcome to the "I Love to Kvetch Out Loud" awards. There are big changes planned here at the award ceremony. Big changes! Okay, not big changes. Little changes. Well, one change, really. Whiners, with your permission, this will be the last week that we award the coveted Playdough Violin. Next week we inaugurate a new logo, courtesy of SuperMom in Training, who is extremely talented. Let me draw back the curtain for you to get a peek:



Is it not fabulous? Is SuperMom in Training not totally awesome? Thank you, SuperMom in Training! I only wish that you were not so well-placed in the contest to win the last Playdough Violin.

Yes, alas, the "Whine of Substance" award goes to....
****SuperMom in Training**** whose husband lost his job yesterday for unknowingly spilling the beans about the activities of Big Unethical CEO. Our sympathies to you, Mr. SuperMom, and Little Button. I hope your husband finds (in Jeni's excellent phrase) a "less morally sticky job" in short order!

Honorable mention goes to Grandma Blue, who's really having a lousy week. Hugs, Grandma Blue!

The "Most Stylish Whine" award goes to....
Stiff competition! A tie!
****Profgrrrrl**** for a whine/anti-whine containing the magisterial verse, "And so these things/ still have a chance/ As sure as nipples/ Aren't covered by pants." What can we say, Profgrrrrl? You are the nipple master in rhyme! We bow before you!

And ****Songbird**** for rhyming couplets on the subject of absent husbands, lonely dogs, the perils of pastoring, dirty laundry, and, of course, the necessity of saving the Earth through, you know, recycling. Your poetic whine is much appreciated, Songbird!

And one more. If you haven't, go read Corndog's "The Waistband." T.S. Eliot, eat your heart out.

The "Wobblies: Whiners of the World Unite!" awards go to....
****Casey and Joe**** Would you offer an artist a job at a Thomas Kinkade store? Would you offer a poet a job editing telephone books? Would you offer George W. Bush a job managing a Wal-mart? No! And neither would we offer Joe a job shoving frozen bread dough lumps into an oven. We're so sorry, especially for the shorn hair and sideburns! Oh, and for Casey having to hang on to her own crappy job.

****Laura**** has her annual review today. Good luck! We're hoping for the best outcome.

****listmaker**** Still. hasn't. heard!

****SuperMom in Training**** who is spinning around in her roller chair. Wheeeeeeee!

****Rev. Dr. Mom**** (my long-lost older sister!) who's just discovered that she has huge philosophical differences with her boss. Worse, he makes her feel like she's talking to her mother. Never a good thing, indeed!

****Rana**** When is Spring Break not really a break? When you have to go to work anyway, and the cafes are closed!

****Corndog**** The Western blot looks more like a Rorshach inkblot. And there are no nipples.

And new whiner ****Chili**** who has a work ethic that doesn't seem to respond to rational disincentives.

The "These Are Real Problems, People!" awards for bodily fluids and other illnesses go to....
****Halloweenlover**** for the zit that is about to eat her face!

****Allison and CCW, with props to Kate as well**** Pregnancy is so. much. fun!

****Susan**** brings the cat pee to the party!

****Sue**** Off to work with a migraine and no chocolate.

****Elswhere**** on behalf of MG, who had to miss her sharing day at school thanks to a stomach bug.

****A**** who had to miss the whiners' ball because of a stomach bug.

****Pink Cupcake**** whose husband is all cuddly when he has an extremely! contagious! cold.

****knightjorge**** who's sick,

****Queen of West Procrastination**** who's also sick,

and ****wolfa**** who's still sick. At least it's not a brain tumor...

The "Most Succint Whine" award goes to....
****Madeleine**** for "Whine: allergies. Anti-whine: crocuses." Right there with you, Madeleine. A-choo!

The "It's A Hard-Knock Life For Us" awards (with props to Purple Kangaroo for the idea) go to all of our whiny little darlings today: LG, Tristan, Allison's kid, Elba, Rev.Dr.Mom's teenager, C, and the Drama Queen. Sing it in unison, kids!

Finally, our best wishes to KLee's grandma, who is having a hell of a time, and hugs to KLee.

Thanks to all the whiners for playing this week! Also thanks to Mr. Blue for running interference with the Adorable Offspring all morning, and thanks to the good folks at PBS Kids, without whom these award ceremonies would not be possible. Happy almost April, everyone!